RESULTS FROM MY FIRST TRIATHON RELAY: A LESSON IN HUMILITY AND HILARITY
I made my "debut" in the tri world Saturday, and almost made my exit as quickly.
The one thing I did REALLY well that day was going to the bathroom before the line got too long...
everywhere else I made rookie mistakes! Big, huge ones.
What fun. What a total nightmare.
Overall it was awesome, but the minutes where I seriously thought I would drown were NOT fun.
My full wetsuit was a disaster and I ignored my instincts to TAKE IT OFF before the race after I got in for warm-up and swam around and the water wasn't really cold. I also ignored Coach's advice and my own instincts to line up on the far side (and swim a little longer), and instead jumped right in the middle of the pack for the start. I was in the 7th and final wave of starts since we were a relay--we were also with the Clydesdales (men over 200 lbs) so there were a lot of big men.
The sun had recently risen, the horn went off, and I sprinted in (too fast: SprinterGirl with no stamina!). By the time I took my first stroke, I was exhausted from running through the shallow water with the heavy wetsuit. Oh no.
Since I didn't vault ahead, I got SMUSHED, worst than any water polo melee I lived through! Starting drinking salt water, going down down down. People and splashing everywhere: it is surreal. I quickly became convinced I could not swim with the wetsuit on (like a wild animal in a trap). I couldn't breathe and couldn't lift my arms over my head. Lifeguard training kicked in and I flipped on my back to catch my breath and try to stem the panic. I just wanted out of that suit, I wanted it off and I was going to let it drop to the bottom of the gulf. "Bye bye, you awful thing". So I pulled my collar release strap...and nothing. Nothing. I could NOT get the neck undone, felt like I was choking, couldn't breathe, salt water. I called for HELP feebly and the Kayak Girls were oblivious. I was pretty far out from shore by then. I simply could not lift my arms over my head to swim. I was really panicked and wondered if I would drown and no one would notice.
Finally the last swimmer passed and finally the Kayak Girls noticed me. I yelled that I needed help getting my wetsuit off. So I hung on the kayak while she got my collar and zipper undone, got it off, and put it in the kayak.
FREE! But... I am now literally LAST, number 1000, just me and the 2 kayak girls. I have my own escort! I was so furious, so totally embarrassed, exhausted, in tears etc. Thinking my biker and runner would be standing there in transition as the LAST ones waiting for me. I told the kayak girl, "you know, I really am a good swimmer, " in a sad little voice. I've now wasted about 6-8 minutes, everyone is 200 yards ahead of me...OK well, I told Coach this was just going to be fun for me, a good ocean swim. Get movin' girlfriend. There are Fig Newtons at the finish line.
So off I go, all alone....start getting a rhythm...hey, this is FUN!
I haven't done an ocean water swim in 8 years but this was so cool. The water was perfect, wavy but not choppy. "Sight the buoy" I kept saying to myself. I had no hope of catching anyone, but just started driving toward the first buoy and then the next one. Never looked beyond the one in front of me; I have no idea how far I have come or have to go. Finally, I picked my head up and looked forward to sight and I see 2 swimmers right in front of me. My heart skipped a beat--oh my gosh, if I can pass them I won't be dead LAST anymore! Zip zip zip, I pass them. Then a few more, then zip past more and more and more. I probably blew past about 50 people! Zoom zoom zoom!
I never really saw the turn toward shore, I was very focused on just swimming a straight line to the next buoy which is what we used to practice in our ocean swims. Finally my hands scrape ground. Ugh oh. This part will not be fun. It is a really long way to run barefoot (and no sports bra, ouch ouch ouch ouch, big mistake here), along the beach, up the path (CHARLEY HORSE RIGHT CALF, didn't stretch enough!), around the bend, though the barriers...to get to the paved parking lot where I have to run to where our bike is racked. No thanks, I don't want Gatorade unless you want puke on you. Number 994 is marked on my arm, yes that location is at the end with 993 bikes to pass by: 100+ yards on rocky pavement in bare feet.
By now I am certain I will puke up the salt water or faint or both. However, I am so HAPPY I don't have to get on a bike right now, so let's kick it in to the finish...I swear to myself I am DONE with this silly sport. I grab Mary, and gasp "You will not believe what happened to me", rip the timing chip off my ankle and hand it to Gwenn and she is off running with the bike. It took a few minutes before I could even talk.
As the day went along, I found that many of my teammates who were in different waves had a similarly bad experience with the swim and their wetsuits. So it became funnier and I felt better (Fig Newtons helped too). It was a classic rookie mistake day, I learned tons. We finished our relay happily and proud of ourselves, took some photos, got the t-shirt, and developed even more respect for the sport. Cried at the sweet success stories of athletes and their families as we watched them approach the finish line. And, I gotta train some more. Get movin' girlfriend.
Gail